Shopping Cart
The Shape of My Eyes
A Memoir of Race, Faith, and Finding Myself
Description
A touching, humorous account of the author’s cultural reckoning with his Korean heritage and hidden family secrets.
A surprising diagnosis of PTSD led Dave Gibbons to look to his past for clues to explain the unexpected result.
Born to an American soldier and a Korean mother in the wake of the Korean War, Dave has spent his life struggling to blend his Korean roots and his very American upbringing. The family joins a conservative church that embraces a strict, rule-based faith, and they try to navigate life as one of the few mixed-raced families in their community. But when tragedy strikes, tearing the family apart, Dave is forced to face long- buried secrets that he can no longer ignore.
As he explores his family’s difficult past, he confronts his own pain and the persistent feelings of not quite fitting in either in America or his mother’s home country. And when a DNA test ultimately reveals a truth that shatters everything he understood about his history, he begins the journey to reconcile his American upbringing with his deep Korean roots, and he is forced to confront the traumas he unknowingly carried.
The Shape of My Eyes beautifully weaves historic reference points of the oppression and discrimination against Asian Americans with Dave’s own personal story. Dave’s wrestling with belonging in his family, in America, and in the church creates a raw, thought-provoking memoir about race, religion and finding home.
A surprising diagnosis of PTSD led Dave Gibbons to look to his past for clues to explain the unexpected result.
Born to an American soldier and a Korean mother in the wake of the Korean War, Dave has spent his life struggling to blend his Korean roots and his very American upbringing. The family joins a conservative church that embraces a strict, rule-based faith, and they try to navigate life as one of the few mixed-raced families in their community. But when tragedy strikes, tearing the family apart, Dave is forced to face long- buried secrets that he can no longer ignore.
As he explores his family’s difficult past, he confronts his own pain and the persistent feelings of not quite fitting in either in America or his mother’s home country. And when a DNA test ultimately reveals a truth that shatters everything he understood about his history, he begins the journey to reconcile his American upbringing with his deep Korean roots, and he is forced to confront the traumas he unknowingly carried.
The Shape of My Eyes beautifully weaves historic reference points of the oppression and discrimination against Asian Americans with Dave’s own personal story. Dave’s wrestling with belonging in his family, in America, and in the church creates a raw, thought-provoking memoir about race, religion and finding home.
Newsletter Signup
By clicking ‘Sign Up,’ I acknowledge that I have read and agree to Hachette Book Group’s Privacy Policy and Terms of Use
Praise
“A riveting account of a cross cultural journey of faith, hope, forgiveness and love, this resonated deeply to me as an artist. Dave Gibbons has woven an honest and essential spiritual memoir from “dangerous place of shame and marginalization“ to God’s abiding grace, and home, in unexpected places."
—Makoto Fujimura, artist and author of “Art+Faith: A Theology of Making”
“Dave’s book is a moving, deeply personal memoir from a “leader of leaders.” Even though his story is so unique, the themes of forgiveness, faithfulness and God’s love will resonate with everyone. As a filmmaker, I couldn’t even come up with the stories of the life he has experienced!”
—Dan Lin, Chairman of Film for NETFLIX
"Reading the Shape of My Eyes was so transformatively gripping that it soothes the most emotionally unbearable moments of our own lives. Dave audaciously captures his most painful experiences so skillfully that you find yourself in these stories compelled, with a teary-eyed vulnerability, to make sense of your own world and belong."
—Sherol Chen, Google AI Research PhD
“Dave’s story pulls you in because it’s all our story - finding identity and home… Dave does the best kind of deconstruction - not one of religion or God but of himself.”
—Bob Roberts, Jr., President Glocalnet / Multifaith Neighbors Network / Glocal Ventures / Institute for Global Engagement
“I devoured the book in just a few days, captivated by the raw vulnerability Dave courageously shares with his readers. It's astounding to see how he opens up about his deepest pains and wounds, making us wonder about the immense courage it must have taken to lay bare such personal struggles… It is certain to touch millions of lives and families, just as it has profoundly impacted ours."
—Patrick and Joyce, Bangkok, Thailand Amway Crown Ambassador and Serial Entrepreneur in Education, Wellness, and Sustainable
“The Shape of My Eyes is a compelling and introspective memoir that gracefully navigates the complexities of identity, cultural heritage, and the journey of self-discovery. … A powerful and uplifting must-read for anyone committed to the hard, hopeful work of building a better world.”
—Sylvia Kim, Founder & CEO, Rebel For Good
“Dave’s vulnerability and candidness adds to the spiritual authority he carries and I’m sure the Holy Spirit will speak to you as you dive into his spiritual story. Prepare to be challenged, inspired and have your outlook expanded.”
—Teofilo Hayashi, Founder of Dunamis Movement , Senior Leader of Zion Church
“The Shape of My Eyes relays Dave Gibbon's intimate origin story of growing up in a multicultural America that struggled and continues to struggle to accept him and those of Third Cultures. Struggling with Identity and the labels others have placed on him, David encourages us on our journey, sometimes in spite of the challenges and heaviness of American Christian Culture. David navigates the complex issues of Faith, Identity and following a path in spite family adversity and pain.”
—Lawrence Ho, attribution
“This is a book about pain, suffering, reflection, perseverance, and resilience… Through his openness and willingness to be vulnerable, Dave creates a narrative that is as relatable as it is inspiring and makes the reader feel intimately connected to his experiences. This book is for anyone grappling with questions of personal identity or searching for their purpose amidst confusion. Highly recommended for its heartfelt honesty and transformative insight.”
—Matthew Shampine, Co-founder & CEO of DNK
“This book touches the soul and reignites the imagination.”
—Jay Jeezy Jenkins, Rapper, Entrepreneur, NY Times best selling author
“An iconic narrative of a Korean American growing up in America - incredibly honest and vulnerable,…, you will not be able to put it down."
—Paul Kim, Investor and Founder
“As much of America, and the American church, struggles with issues of race, immigration, pluralism, and spirituality we need to hear stories like Dave Gibbons’. With disarming honesty, deep self-reflection, and hard-won wisdom, Gibbons reveals the blessings and burdens of growing up in a mixed race family while navigating the racist subculture of Christian fundamentalism to find a more authentic life with God. With this memoir, Dave Gibbons reveals why he’s uniquely gifted to be a leader of leaders.”
—Skye Jethani, award-winning author, co-host of The Holy Post podcast, and co-founder of Holy Post Media
“Dave Gibbons’ memoir goes beyond the scope of most stories, documenting the role that suffering played in his development and his journey to peace and healing through grace and forgiveness. Gibbons’ use of tender prose and sincere storytelling allows him to explore how racism, familial trauma, and rejection cause pain that has the potential to affect individuals for years to come. Ultimately, The Shape of My Eyes is a story of hope, showing how God’s patient compassion led Gibbons to a place of peace and wholeness through reconciliation. Infused with vulnerability and light-heartedness, this memoir has the potential to unleash healing in readers of all backgrounds.”
—Dave Ferguson, founder of Exponential conference and author of BLESS, 5 Everyday Ways to Love Your Neighbor and Change the World
“Dave Gibbons has not just written the gripping story of his life… he has also written a field guide on how to navigate this complicated world of faith, justice, and identity in a way only Dave Gibbons could. I will be telling everyone I know to read this book!”
—Carlos Whittaker, author of How to Human
“Because there are no road maps for life, we seek the opinions of our family, friends, teachers, mentors and prominent individuals. Dave Gibbons is a servant leader living in our midst, helping us to orient, navigate and materialize our ways of life. Most importantly, he is accessible to all of us regardless of our respective differences.”
—June Elizabeth Kang, TV Personality/ Host of JuneKang's Good Life/ Author/ Wife to Actor Choi Min Soo/ Mother of two sons
“Dave has written a powerful memoir that contains both ancient and modern story: finding self inside misunderstood skin, the lightning strike of loss, clinging to hints of joy like planks in a roaring sea… A look through Dave’s eyes may reshape yours, or may be as comforting as home.”
—J.S. Park, hospital chaplain and author of As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve
“Dave Gibbons possesses a once-in-a-generation depth of intellect and soul. Through his vivid storytelling, specificity morphs into moments of universal connection. Dave — in his leadership, speaking, and writing — always finds a way to make people feel seen and beloved, just as they are.”
—Melody Hahm, Harlem Capital
“Dave Gibbons’ memoir, The Shape of My Eyes, artfully captures the life of a brilliant creative and esteemed faith leader. As a Black cultural theologian and social innovator, I deeply connect with Gibbons’ universal journey of self-discovery, pain and love, especially within the confines of being labeled a ‘model minority’ in American society. Rarely witnessed firsthand, Gibbons shares his epiphany on racial injustice, drawing from personal experiences of racism against himself and other Asian Americans. The Shape of My Eyes serves as a poignant guide for misfits, offering a transformative exploration of spirituality, racial identity, and meaningful relationships. It also skillfully provides a platform, which if properly handled, could create much needed dialogues between Asian American and African American community leaders."
—Rev. Dr. Alex Gee, CEO, The Center for Black Excellence and Culture, Sr. Pastor of Fountain of Life Church in Madison, WI, and Host of Black Like Me Podcast